Humanity
by Ichihime
Summary: Naruto is unsure about how human he is. Have the villagers been right about him all along? Or is he just as normal as a ninja should be?


Humanity

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A liquid drop hit the ground beneath with only the slightest sound. A second later another one joined the first. And a third one hit the ground again.

If he had strained his ears he was sure that he would have been able to hear a quiet splash each time they landed. Like the first drops before a storm. The drops that warn people that there is more to come.

It sure felt like more drops would join the first. At least he thought so when he felt the dark feelings in his stomach. The desperate feelings that made him want to cower or run away.

Away from everything so that he could be alone. So that he didn't have to hurt anymore. So that he didn't have to be afraid. Afraid of hurting other people and in return hurting himself.

He hated loneliness. Loneliness made him weak. It made him sick. It made him sad. But it was better than hurting.

The pain he felt in his stomach each time he hurt another. It made him sick with grief. It made him fear himself.

There was this pain each time he failed to keep his promises. Each time he failed to protect another. Each time somebody he knew died and he was sure that he could have stopped it.

Each time, he felt a little more of himself die along with them.

He was afraid of himself because he didn't feel anything when he killed the lifeforce of a man. It was easy. A hit here, a punch there and then a kunai to the neck. Or if he was feeling up to it he could use a jutsu.

It was easy. Too easy. And truthfully, it scared him.

Only a monster doesn't feel when he kills. Maybe the villagers had been right all along? Maybe everything they had said were true?

'_Demon!'_

'_Monster!'_

'_... doesn't deserve to live.'_

'_He killed my brother and my sister...'_

'_Kill him!'_

'_My mother...'_

'_Hate him...'_

'_Kill him!'_

'_My son...'_

'_Wish he were dead...'_

'_My husband...'_

'_Kill him!'_

'_Die demon...!'_

"Naruto!"

He didn't have to look up to see who it was. He continued to stare at the ground, reliving the villagers taunts and threats.

'Maybe they were right all along...'

"Naruto, what are you doing here?" There was a hint of concern in the voice.

'I don't deserve it.'

"Naruto..."

He still didn't look up, though he lifted his arms to dry his eyes. He noticed that he was shaking. It was a rather cold night after all.

"How long have you been sitting here? You're shaking." The last came out slightly reprimanding..

'How long...?'

"I don't know." He said and then he hugged his knees to stop the shaking.

He started when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but then he relaxed again and closed his eyes. He was pretty tired when he thought about it.

"What's wrong?"

"I..."

He shrugged a little.

"Is it wrong not to be able to feel when you kill?"

"..."

"Or am I just a monster? Something that shouldn't even be alive? Shouldn't even exist..." He felt his eyes getting wet again. He buried his face in his arms.

"I'm a... demon, right? I should be dead..." He started to sob.

The other one drew him into an akward hug.

"Do you feel?"

He opened his eyes in surprise. "What...?"

"Do you still feel?"

"...Yes." He answered, unsure of what it meant.

"What do you feel?"

"Fear, regret, hurt... Loneliness..." His sobs became a little louder.

"Can a demon feel?"

"..."

"A demon doesn't feel. It never has, and never will."

His sobs quietened down somewhat.

"You however... You feel more than most."

The other one squeezed his shoulder a little.

"It's human to feel. You are human. No matter what you and others say. That will never change."

The other one backed away a little, waiting for Naruto to calm down. After a few minutes he had stopped sobbing and were now trying to dry his eyes.

"Come on. Let's go home."

'Home...'

Naruto stood up and walked towards the other with a little smile grazing his mouth.

"Yeah, let's do that."

The drops on the ground were already gone. No signs were left of them, only a memory which were to become more distant with every single day that went by.

After all, the rainy skies will always disappear to let the sun come out once again.

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Hm, is it just me or is it easier to write angst and so on? It's weird...

Please read and review.


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